Life is better than death, I believe, if only because it is less boring and because it has fresh peaches in it.
For most men life is a search for the proper manilla envelope in which to get them selves filed.
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.
If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
For the first half of your life, people tell you what you should do; for the second half, they tell you what you should have done.
The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.
If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now, quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well-known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Someone said to Voltaire, “Life is hard.” Voltaire replied, “Compared to what?”
Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink.