Famous Funny Quotes
A lot of fellows these days have a B.A., M.D., or a Ph.D. Unfortunately, they donâ€™t have a J.O.B.
Young men think old men are fools; but old men know young men are fools.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Iâ€™ve got problem for your solution.
Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
If your girlfriend is gaining weight, support her to walk 5 miles a day. In just a month she will be 300 miles away.
I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up
A secretary must think like a man, act like a lady, look like a girl and work like a dog.
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
An optimist is someone who falls off the Empire State Building, and after 50 floors says, ‘So far so good!’
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Never argue with an idiot. The people watching might not know the difference.
Always remember youâ€™re unique. Just like everyone else.
Beauty isn’t worth thinking about; what’s important is your mind. You don’t want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head.